A few weeks, and months go by...

So today is just a difficult day all around.

I know that Josh is almost done with his deployment, but it seems like it is a million years from now. I will be moving out to Colorado Springs on Nov. 16th (BIG DECISIONS!) and then Josh should be home (fingers crossed) by the week of Nov. 21st. Right near Thanksgiving so I will have a lot to be thankful for!

I am super excited to move out to Colorado. Definitely nervous, but very excited. It feels like time has stood still this month. October is dragging and September felt like the longest month of my life! For a while there, the days were picking up. I guess this is the homestretch and I have so much anticipation anxiety about him coming home.

SO COLORADO! I am day dreaming on a daily basis about leaving Staten Island. I will miss my friends and my family so much but I think this is going to be an amazing experience. I am trying to get our place all set up before Josh gets back so that he has something nice to come home to! This is huge for me because I have never left home. I never lived so far or out of my parents house. I am such a homebody and it I had to muster up all the courage I have to make this move. I know it is going to be so worth it.

I am picturing the day in November that Josh gets home and I see him for the first time. I feel like I am going to be so nervous. I think how long it’s been since I kissed him or touched his face. What if I forget how! haha… certainly that won’t happen but these are the vast things that are completely weighing on my mind. I picture us walking into our new place and finally just being together again. I am so excited to start my life with him, I cannot wait anymore.

On top of all that awesomeness Josh and I have a vacation planned for PUNTA CANA! 10 days on the beach in January! WOO. This will be awesome! There is just so much to look forward to. I want him home safe.

Last night I went to an event for a man who died in Afghanistan in July. It was my friend Heather’s boyfriends bestfriend… She asked me to go and I went. I was very nervous to go because it makes Afghanistan more of a reality when you see these things happening. I feel like as a defense mechanism I have convinced myself that nothing can happen to Josh or any of his friends or the people he is with now. Last night I met the wife of the soldier who died. I was amazed by her strength to even be out of her house. I got to speaking with her and she is the sweetest person. Funny as hell too. I can’t imagine the struggle she has ahead. They were married less than 1 year when he was killed. My heart just broke for her.

If I have learned one thing during this deployment it is appreciation for every single little thing in a relationship. I will appreciate waking up next to Josh, being able to have routines, loving his quirks. I learned how important it is to talk about everything and try to resolve arguments quickly- time goes so fast and anything could happen at a moments notice. As hard as it is being away from Josh, I think that this distance made our relationship 1000% stronger. Being far away forces you to talk things out and never hang up without saying i love you… things such as that. I know that I will APPRECIATE him so much more now that I will have him close.

Until then… I will just be counting down the days. Felt good to write all this stuff down. I forget how much I enjoy doing that.

Yesterday marked 200 days since Josh left for Afghanistan. I guess it feels like it is sort of going by quickly. September dragged on and on and on though. It felt like it was never going to end! 

I am hoping that October zips on by. I am keeping super busy lately and trying to just stay focused on him coming home. I was pretty excited yesterday because we got to skype for the first time in a LONG time! It felt great to look at his face! 

A lot of craziness is going on! He is supposed to be home in late November (or early December ) and I plan on moving out to Colorado Springs. Never ever in my whole entire life did I think I would be moving so far away from home. I am pretty excited but also a little scared and nervous to move ! I CANNOT WAIT TILL HE GETS HOME! 

In the time Josh has been away I feel we have grown together more as a couple. This relationship has certainly been tested in so many ways and I am so happy to say that despite all the things we seemingly have against us (distance, not knowing eachother a long time, etc) we are coming out so strong. 

LOVE>DISTANCE ! 

Hi All! 

I couldn’t believe it but this Friday will make TWO full months down of deployment. Kicking it’s ass! Before I know it Josh will be safe and with me in my arms! I cannot wait…. I miss him like crazy every day. 

XOOXO

I am going crazy!!! I miss josh. 

</3